I was once bitten by a snake

Yeah, I'm totally not kidding. The memory of it is flooding back to me since it happened a year ago here, at my parent's house in Devon, PA, where I am currently on holiday (read: unemployed).

Now, don't get the wrong idea about Devon. It's suburbia-- the Main Line of Philadelphia. The closest people get to reptiles here are the alligators on their Lilly Pulitzer dresses. But of course, all that changed on one summer day in 2009. . .

My parents and I were just returning from a lovely dinner out. We pull into the garage and I get out of the car. I begin walking to the side door when I step on something squishy. It all happened so FAST-- I felt a sting on my heel and yelled with great fervor and emotion "A SNAKE JUST BIT ME!" I saw it slither away from me, deeper into the garage.

My mother  (let's call her "Claudymom") reacted fast. She bolted back into the car and LOCKED THE DOORS. Thank God for power locks or she would have been taken by that snake that day. We can only thank the makers of my dad's SUV for having the foresight to protect women and children from two-foot water snakes that wander up from the pond into the garages of innocents.

While my mom was indulging the "flight" aspect of her reflexes, my father went into "fight" mode. He grabbed a shovel and proceeded to kill the snake. I think he was defending my honor. He was brave that day . . .

I, of course, had let myself into the house and was wriggling around trying to get rid of the heebie-jeebies (Claudymom's words, not mine) that damn snake had given me. I looked down at my foot and had the tiniest little cut from where the snake had pierced my skin. It was literally so tiny I started laughing hysterically. It didn't even hurt. Of course I would get bitten by a snake and have barely anything to show for it. I mean, it is really hard to brag about how hard core you are when you basically have a paper cut on your foot.

After the snake was properly dead, Claudymom unlocked the car doors and joined my father and me in the house.

We became much closer that day. . . Claudymom believed she had escaped death by mere seconds, my dad had stared into the face of a two foot snake and lived to tell about it and I was nursing my paper cut. The feeling of being alive was invigorating.

The scene of the attack.