It's Official: I've Lost It.

We're moving across the country in precisely 9 days and 13 hours. Ho. Ly. Smokes. This means, I am crazy right now. Not my normal brand of crazy but a new kind: the kind where I daydream longingly about chickens with their heads cut off and think, "ah, to be that subdued!" There is so much to do and so little time to do it! I've lost it. I'm speaking, of course, about my mind. See, I couldn't even find it quickly enough to put it into that last sentence!

In a desperate attempt at sanity, I've put a list together of signs I've exhibited that prove I've, indeed, lost it.

1. My outfit today says, "I've given up." Yes, I believe fashion speaks. Just yesterday, my outfit said "I'm pretending that I'm not pajamas when really I am."


2. There are packed boxes everywhere and yet I still insisted we get a Christmas tree. We no longer have glasses but, don't worry folks, the Tannenbaum's a blazin! It's a vertically challenged, naked tree but it is fantastic! Every time I'm around it, I feel like saying, "good grief!" because it's my very own Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

3. I've been looking at the ridiculously huge pile of laundry saying, with great authority and fervor, "Laundry, do thyself!" No matter my optimism, the mass remains.

4. I've developed an enormous mass on my chin. Seriously, I'm Rudolph, the chin version! I prefer to refer to it as my "tumor" instead of a pimple, to which my husband so predictably responds, "It's not a toomah!"



5. I talk to myself. And my cat. Yeah, I'm that girl. I'm in my apartment all day working and packing, things were bound to go south for my sanity! Claudymom, God love her, always talks to herself. She says that "it's great talking to myself because I don't give myself grief like you kids do!" Ah, Claudymom. If this means I'm turning quirkier like her, than I guess I'm cool with it.

Send. Help. Please.

Oh, and Diet Coke. Lots of Diet Coke.

It's the Remix to Transition . . .

Before you read what will be an amazing post, look to your right. You see that blue box telling you that you can help people by providing clean drinking water? Put in your email address and help P&G provide up to 100,000 days of clean drinking water. I promise you will not be inundated with emails from P&G. Do it . . . or else.


We. Are. Moving. Finally.

Yes, now that blurb at the top of this page that describes me as someone who is "about to make a move" is legit. I am really, friends, about to make a move. We have set our sights on Portsmouth, New Hampshire and should be there after Christmas to ring in the new year, Granite State style.

What's that, you say? You've never been to New Hampshire? Well, watch this educational video and learn. I promise it will be illuminating.


So, folks, this is where I am moving. It's just like Old Hampshire, but it's new. This means, I am officially in a period of transition. We need to figure out how we're moving our stuff across the country, how our little Satan (our cat) is getting across the country and, of course, where we'll live when we make it there.

Overall, I like change. Now, I didn't say I was good at change, just that I liked it. Call it my ADD but I love switching things up because it keeps things fresh and exciting. Take my shampoo, for instance. I rotate through shampoo so my hair doesn't get bored or worse, take the hair products for granted (I do buy Aveda, after all- that s#!t's expensive).

My husband complains about the volume of products but his luscious locks totally thank me.

I have loved pretty much every minute I've spent here in SF. So, to show my appreciation, I've made a list of the things I will miss most about this great city (you know I love lists).

1. Wine Country. Really, this is self explanatory. Not since football games at Boston College was it appropriate to drink before noon. Thank you, Sonoma, for making inappropriateness acceptable again.
2. Food. Yes, I know there is food where I am going but not like this. From sandwiches at Ike's to Tsunami sushi, I will miss the smorgasbord of opportunities to stuff my face. I feel like like Templeton from Charlotte's Web when he's at the fair! So many things to choose from I might not get home because my tummy is so full!
3. People of Color. Yes, I feel I have to say "goodbye" to diversity as I am moving to New Hampshire where I will be with, pretty much, only other white people. I am sad about this because I know diversity makes us better and well, I need all the help I can get!
4. Being Outside . . . all year. I am moving to a place where it gets very cold and I'm kind of in denial about that. I don't really want to talk about it so . . . moving on!
5. My friends. Yes- I have friends in NH. Fabulous ones that I can't wait to be near. But, I also have fabulous friends here that I don't want to leave. When I finally master teleportation and/or apparition this long distance will not be a problem. If you don't know what apparition is, then I feel sorry for you but you can look it up here. 

I hope that, in the next few weeks, I take the time to reflect on what this place has meant for us. To often, we jump from one thing to another and never take a moment to soak it all in-- sometimes, we are really bad sponges. I wish, for myself and my husband, that we will internalize all of the wonderful things we've had and allow them to make us better and stronger. Then, we'll share that wealth with New Hampshire and, all I have to say is: New Hampshire, you're welcome.

The Stepford Dogs of Cole Valley

I live in a neighborhood of San Francisco called Cole Valley. It is a great neighborhood complete with coffee shops, a local hardware store, a few good restaurants and even some great bars. My husband and I moved into our apartment here over three years ago. At that time renting in San Francisco was like a competitive sport and we just completely lucked out with this place.

One of the most amazing things about our neighborhood, in my opinion, is the dogs! There are so many dogs in a one mile radius you would think the streets would be lined with poo (I sang that to the tune of "There are no Cats in America" from An American Tale). 

Of course they aren't lined with poo. This is the land of well-behaved canines. Man's best friend? More like Man's best behaved friend. Seriously, it's ridiculous. Unleashed dogs roam the streets . . . five feet in front of their owners and stop at crosswalks. There is hardly any barking, unless it's the "Jimmy's stuck in a well" kind and we don't get much of that here. There aren't any wells around.

Here are a few photos of some well-behaved pooches from Cole Valley.

 Anonymous, waiting patiently for owner outside Cole Hardware.

 Pixie, on her way to the park to play Frisbee.

Chloe, minutes before pooping in an appropriate place.

There is one dog in Cole Valley that just kills me. His name is Theo, he is 10 1/2 and is perfect. He is never leashed and will just wait patiently outside of stores for his owner to come out. He is the Holy Grail of dogs.

Theo. The dog, the myth, the legend.

I should be happy for these owners. I should sing their praises about how Cesar Milan could learn so much from them. I should, but I can't. I can't get over my jealousy.

See, I have never had a well behaved pet. Our family dogs were always ornery and the one my parents still have is a champion barker (not to mention her serious need for jaw reconstruction surgery . . . can anyone say "underbite?"). And don't even get my started on my cat. I think she is possessed. I'm not kidding. She's staring at me right now and it's freaking me out.

Don't be lured in . . . she uses her powers for evil.

I love dogs and can't wait to get one of our own. But I have so many hopes and dreams about them being somewhat well-behaved. Will our dog have intimacy issues like our cat? Will our dog channel the devil like her, too? These are the things that keep me up at night.