How to Keep Your Sanity Through the Holidays

I'm obsessed with Christmas. LOVE IT.

• I hijack our Netflix queue during the month of December and we watch only Christmas movies. 
• I know EXACTLY what my girls are wearing for every Christmas-themed activity (and yes, it's adorable). 
• We have the new Amazon Echo (highly recommend) and she absolutely knows to play "holiday music" during this time or else she gets a stern, "Alexa STOP!" even from my daughter (when my daughter isn't yelling "Alexa play Frozen" at her).
• I know all the words (multiple verses) to every Christmas carol. Thank you, high school ensemble! This baffles my husband who can't even remember the lyrics to "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". Nope, not kidding. 
• As I've stated before, I redecorate my tree on a regular basis. 

There are countless other ways in which my obsession for Christmas comes through but I have to preserve some mystery here (and keep you from judging me for the crazy Christmas elf that I am).

Yet, as much as I LOVE Christmas, there are aspects of it that are really hard. 

  The surplus of unhealthy food.

    The endless travel.

      The crazy hubbub of family and friends.

        The heartache of missing loved ones far and lost.

Just to name a few. So while I would never want to just "get through" the holidays, I do think it's important to arm ourselves with a few tricks to make this time of year the most enjoyable and as light on stress as possible. 

Here are a few tricks I use to make the holidays successful:

1. When I can, I eat clean. That means avoiding processed food and sugar (that isn't from fruit or good sources like honey or real syrup). Yeah this is SOOOO easy, right? I try to stick with the 90/10 rule (which sometimes turns into the 80/20 rule). Eat clean and wonderfully 90% of the time and go bananas for the other 10%. If you allow yourself that 10%, you'll be more discerning about how you use that portion. Christmas cookie? Oh yeah. Grandma's sketchy holiday eggnog? Um, I'll pass...
2. MOVE. As in, take a break from your A Christmas Story marathon and do something. Anything. Walk around the block. Shake your booty to Mariah Carey's Christmas album. Pretend you're Rudolph and pull every kid present (which may or may not include your emotionally stunted cousin, Victor) around in a "sleigh". 
3. Get outside. We head to San Diego every other Christmas so this part is a piece of cake for me. Go outside in Sunny CA when back home it's frigid and dark? SURE. But seriously, put on your parka and smell some fresh air. Whether you're dealing with jet lag or depression, the sun's rays and a little fresh air can work wonders for the bod.
4. Take time for yourself. So key, especially when you are not in your comfort zone (A.K.A. at your in-laws). Go take a yoga class or check out that boutique downtown. Go to Starbucks and "get lost" for an hour. I am always the very first to volunteer for a grocery store run just so I can ride solo.
5. Talk to your people. This is one of those "do as I say, not as I do" ones. I can totally suck at this (as Mr. Fix It, my husband). Make sure you take time to connect with your people (or person) over the holidays. It is beyond easy to isolate yourself and miss opportunities to bond with the people who really matter to you. In my opinion, this all happens much better over a glass (um, bottle?) of wine. I make it a policy to drink frequently over the holidays. 
6. Celebrate and remember. Who are you missing this year? We lost my grandfather (my Bubba) earlier this year and this is our first Christmas in San Diego without him. I plan on telling as many stories about him as I can remember, imitating his guffaw with frequency and, best of all, doing this all with other people who were loved by him and loved him. 
7. Give.  Maybe money, maybe time, maybe hugs. Just be open to giving and look for opportunities to be generous. There is nothing like the spirit of generosity to chase away the Scrooge in all of us. And to disarm even the judgy-est of relatives. 

I hope this list (lists are my FAVORITE) is helpful to you. Trust me when I say that, when I don't do these things, there is drama. When I do, there is none. 

HAHAHAH just kidding there is always drama! Ain't nobody escaping Christmas without it BUT, you will be able to face the drama better so that, rather than be a participant, you can--at the very least--be a bystander who silently judges. 

Merry Christmas!!!

    

News Flash: Christmas Coming Early This Year!

I know what you're thinking: This dumb blonde just wrote about Halloween and now she thinks it's Christmastime already? 

My answer for you: First of all, stop being so harsh and secondly, get your ass in the Christmas spirit!

Look at it glistening in the sun . . . it's so beautiful.

Everyone knows there are two authorities on the arrival of the holiday season: Coca Cola and Starbucks. Think polar bears and red cups, people! The Diet Coke can has spoken: it's that time of year again! (side note for all of you worrying about my health for drinking diet soda. If it kills me in the end, it'd be a good way to go!)

I purchased this glorious D. Coke this afternoon on my way to Walgreens. The festive can was my first clue and the overall decor of Walgreens was my second that it is indeed the most wonderful time of the year (I encourage you to sing that as you read it. Come on, try it. No one likes a Scrooge).

Some people do not like Christmas to come so early. There are even people out there who won't let their wives to listen to Christmas music in the house until Thanksgiving. These same kinds of people think that changing the entire Netflix queue to all Christmas movies is going overboard. I know, I know, who are these Grinches?

Sure, there are some who might be overwhelmed at the amount of Christmas paraphernalia already present in their local Walgreens. Maybe their wives didn't use up all the glue on purpose so, in terms of a leg lamp, they're all set.

But me, I like to see all of the decorations for sale, both tacky and classy. There's something about stretching Christmastime out that makes me happy. Not because I like to shop or because I buy into the frenzied pace of some people's holiday seasons. I like the feeling in the air; the contagious joy. People are more patient, more generous-- dare I say, jollier? What's wrong with stretching that out for as long as possible?

I would also consider myself a fan of baby Jesus. Sue me for getting religious on you but I enjoy being reminded of God's love during this time. How does a leg lamp remind you of God's love? you ask. Well, I'll tell you. It all has to do with tradition. Every Thanksgiving, when I was a kid, we would get out the boxes of decorations and begin to decorate the house. I would be playing with the Lladro creche (unbeknownst to Claudymom, obvi), my brother would have on our scratchy Santa hat, my sister would be singing carols at the top of her lungs all while my mom yelled out the window at my dad hanging the Christmas lights to make sure he did a good job decorating the trees. It was too cold for Claudymom to be outside so she settled for yelling her orders from the window. It was like this for years. These quirky traditions and decorations remind me of the love in my life and, since I believe God is in all people, the love God has for me. Even my demonic cat in her elf costume (gift from Claudymom) fills me with joy. Only Christmas can do that.

The real challenge for me is, Why does it take Christmastime for me to be so connected to deep joy? I must try harder to remember the poetic words of Dickens' classic, coming from the mouth of the converted Scrooge:

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year!

My Ex-Boyfriend's Band

Ok so maybe the title "ex-boyfriend" isn't really appropriate since we "dated" when we were in sixth grade for like three weeks. But still, three weeks back then was HUGE. Sure, we didn't ever talk and there was absolutely zero physical contact but, it meant something. Jason Blynn's curly blond hair was just too much for me to resist as an awkward sixth grader. Jason lived in my neighborhood so naturally, our romance started on the bus. Of course we would never speak directly to one another but we had our friends to help us communicate. It was like the most awkward game of telephone ever played, as if telephone isn't super awkward enough already.

Now Jason is a big deal. He's in a band with another schoolmate of mine, Sarab Singh, called Harper Blynn comes out of New York City. Of course I had an enormous crush on Sarab when I was in eighth grade. I was much more mature then; Sarab and I actually talked.

Jason is lead vocals and guitar while Sarab plays the drums. The other guys (Pete Harper and a guy name Whynot) are really great, too. I've just never met them before therefore never had a crush on them and apparently this post is all about my old crushes. Anyways, their songs are great-- I think my fave is "Steal Your Love."

Check out the review of their album "Loneliest Generation" on Paste Magazine's web site. Also-- their myspace page is amazing since it lets you listen to a bunch of their songs to see what you think.

I am posting their cover of Beyonce's "Halo" and hoping it will act as a gateway drug to their music. Enjoy!! My SF friends-- they will be at The Independent on November 10th!

"Quirky" by Claudymom

I love quirky people and would like to be one someday. Maybe the quirkiest person I know is my mom, Claudymom. She is both delightful and a little odd-- my favorite combination. She has these tiny little freak flags (they are subtler and more tasteful than mine-- I think she hired a decorator) that she displays from time to time. I decided to dedicate this post to Claudymom and give you, all 5 of my readers, Claudymom's Guide to Being Quirky:

1. Put ice in your white wine. Because, no matter what, it is just never cold enough!
2. Get a hula hoop and take up hula hooping. Do it for your daughter's friends when they come over. They will love it.
3. Purchase a sling shot and some ammo. Get to be a really good shot and chase the geese away that ruin your backyard.
4. Mispronounce random words that everyone else can say. Refuse to ever get a Volvo because it would sound like you are talking about female anatomy any time you'd mention it.
5. Never spit out your toothpaste because it is crass to spit. When you are lectured by your daughter for poisoning yourself, tell her that you've been doing it all your life and you haven't died yet!
6. Say things straight out of "Charlie Brown" like good grief! Add your own spin and expand to good griefous! or something like that. Go crazy!
7. Get the most out of every tank of gas. Don't refill until you are literally about to run out of gas. Pass this trait onto your daughters.
8. Make up your own names for things. "P.F. Chang's" restaurant might become "P.C. Fang's" or, for short, "Fang's." Get creative with it.
9. Get a really kick-ass nickname like "Claudymom" and become an entity unto yourself. Own it. Live it. Get an aol screen name circa 1996.
10. Don't be afraid to incorporate new lingo into your life. It might mesh well with words from your vernacular like "hunk" or, everyone's favorite, "heebie jeebies." Surprise your kids when you "call bitch" (aka claim the middle back seat of a car for yourself.)

I think the overall message of Claudymom is to be all around fabulous and well-liked. Loved, actually.

Well, good luck being quirky! Claudymom has helped all she can- the rest is up to you.

Who is the quirkiest person YOU know?

A little pick me up. Maybe the best thing ever.

This girl is my hero. I am totally changing my morning routine after seeing this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg